By Mike Hams – February 2002

We left early on the Friday expecting a long trip because the
weather in East Anglia was causing traffic problems. Winter snow
for the first time in many years and roads to the east were
reported blocked by snowbound vehicles. Our first piece of luck
was the A14 clearing at Exning just as we approached the turnoff
for Ely and a long and painful detour. The snow petered out by
Huntingdon and we had an uneventful trip along the M6 past all the
usual sights.

As we crossed into Cumbria the snow returned which was greeted
with some mild enthusiasm, this being a winter mountaineering
weekend after all. Rupert gave an admirable display of Olympic
class 4 man bobsleigh control as practised in a Ford Sierra down
the Kirkstone pass. We were all in need of a pint by the time
Sykeside appeared out of the murk. As the rest of the
happy/trembling participants arrived in the bar there were tales
of epic descents in the snow.

There was a decent snowfall overnight, leaving a covering above
500m but not much at the bottom of Kirkstone pass. Peter Krug,
Sheila Norman and myself decided to give the Helvellyn horseshoe a
go as none of us had been up in the snow before. Some of us hadn’t
been up there in the sun either but that wasn’t going to stop us.
A quick trip in the car to Glenridding and we were gearing up for
the walk.

Just outside Glenridding, I was kneeling down having tried to walk
on a sheet of ice in my new boots. A useful lesson learned and one
not repeated. The snow coverage became more complete as we plodded
upwards although with no snow falling it was a pleasant walk-in;
visibility was good low down although we noticed that higher up
the weather was closing in.

We reached the hole in the wall and discovered there were a lot of
people on the hill, ready to go along Striding Edge as soon as
they had coffee/tea/hot chocolate. Layers were adjusted, snacks
finished and a group of about 30 set off for Helvellyn. Only a
couple of people had donned crampons at this point, we weren’t
part of that select group. I was having a sudden introduction to
the art of ridge walking/scrambling, quite an interesting first
route. Part way along the edge, an RAF rescue helicopter arrived
to see what the state of play was and to practice some recovery
drills. A quiet time in the hills had been disrupted and there
were muttered comments about noise pollution.

We stopped for lunch just below the summit of Helvellyn to stay
out of the wind and avoid the crowd. My legs had also decided that
a rest would be a good idea or I would have cramp. We chose a
peaceful spot and ate our fill disturbed only by the ranger
collecting his weather/ path condition report and a chap with his
dog. After lunch Peter and I donned crampons having been gripped
on Striding Edge without them. Sheila had sensibly put hers on
half way along Striding Edge and had been unable to persuade us it
would be a good idea. The summit plateau itself was like a
convention centre when a political party is in town.

We joined the queue for Swirrall Edge and made our way down and
along to Catstye Cam, stopping twice to adjust my crampons that
each came off twice in quick succession. From there we picked up
the path from Red Tarn and continued back down to Glenridding,
passing the youth hostel and the old mine workings.

A grand day out on the hill was made all the more pleasurable by
changing into cool boots back at the car and a wee dram of good
malt. More pictures available at Lakes Feb 2003, password: Climb8

Master of Ceremonies: Keith Lodge

First I must apologise most profusely for the delay in this most prestigious event in the calendar of the IMC. I was unfortunately at short notice struck down with the Flu and could not find a suitable replacement for the Christmas Curry Night.

This year’s award has proved a most hard and gruelling task for the Judges. They have scoured the media for clues to the answers to their questions. After much deliberation, hair pulling and nail biting a possible solution was deemed the only feasible answer.

The problem facing the Judges was the lack of reported LOBs for 2002. Could this be true to the initial indication that the membership is actually taking climbing seriously and not putting in the airtime previously recorded in years gone by? They could not believe that not one single LOB was reported at the Beginners Weekend, the usual foretaste of what would hopefully come to fruition throughout the year.

The financial genius amongst the Judges put forward his case to try to solve this dilemma, having spent many hours burning the midnight oil to reach his conclusion. A close scrutiny of the financial pages of the more favourable Newspapers and Journals soon brought forward a plausible theory. With the economic growth, and stabilisation of the underlying institutions and resultant settling of the economic situation both at home and abroad, it was felt that this might have had more than an impinging influence of this year’s award.

The theory thus put forward was that unlike previous years, the financial situation of members of the IMC had in fact improved beyond all recall, thus allowing many Lobbists to make such outstanding financial remuneration to the previously loyal army of spies, snitches, bigots, and down right low down individuals who would have otherwise previously felt no conviction at reporting, belittling and maligning their fellow club members. This has been viewed with much sharp in taking of deep breathe by the Judges as being truly unethical tactics not conducive to the true meaning of the freedom to climb as cheaply as possible and the true Spirit of the “LOB of the Year” award.

Well this theory is soon put to rest as mumblings of “Did you hear about so-and-so’s LOB?” fall deftly upon the Judges ears. So LOBs had been taking place. But where were the details? Where were the spies taking notes, recording dates, times, names?

Details are few and far between, but let me start with those mentioned in despatches, as only a mention can be made of them as all the Judges had were the names of the guilty, or innocent, depending on your point of view.

• Pete Krugg on an epic struggle and subsequent lobbage on Altar Crack VS 4C at Rivelin
• Martin Hore on the HVS 5b just to the right of Pete’s LOB on Altar Crack.
• Martin Hore yet again, on Chequers Crack Froggatt HVS 5b.
• Steve Gray on the E1 nr John Peel at Dovedale.
• Steve Culverhouse on aviation E1 on Dartmoor.
• Rupert Holbrook on Cenotaph Corner (at the top)
• Simon Chandler may have had some airtime on Right Unconquerable.
• Rumours that Mervyn Lamacraft may well have spent some time testing the theory that humans do not fly on many occasions during the year have so far been unproven, and cannot be substantiated in preparation for this award, apart from one incident, which filtered through the net.
• Suggestions that Pete Krugg’s efforts at following Rupert on Valkyrie at Froggatt would stand a chance, although from all reports was well worth the audience paying by cash, cheque, and credit card for the ensuing entertainment, unfortunately does not qualify as Leading is the main criteria for LOB of the Year, and seconding, no matter how dramatic, life threatening, or just down right amusing and entertaining cannot be allowed.

Gambit

This brings us to the 3 reported and stitched up final contenders for this year’s award. As any gentleman will know ladies come first, so in true gentlemanly style and well received was an effort by Christina Ennis ably belayed by Louise Burness. Well not so much a lob, as a slither and large bold move downwards. On the rather famous Gambit in North Wales, Christina was retreating from yet another attempt to get off the ground when the ledge she was standing on started to give as she moved one foot down. She stepped back up. The ledge carried on moving, slowly, tortuously, and downwards. Turned out to be very little ledge and mostly grass tussock, peeling off the rock. The gambit is on part of a large cliff face, in amphitheatre shape. Christina chose that moment to test out its acoustics. The “conversation” that resulted was shortened, and “corrected” significantly.

“Help, have you got me, I’m falling” “Well, do the move you started, and get off that ledge”

And that’s about it really, she slid a bit, then moved off, then it came off. The girls decided to try a different route. In the words of the Judges, “Needs to try harder, 2/10 for entertainment value only” but some clarification of the term harder needs to be sorted as to whether this means Christina needs to put more effort in, or to try leading harder climbs!

Layback Crack

2nd June. Our new club secretary Mervyn, on his first climbing weekend out for some time. Merv was tackling the powerful “Layback Crack” at Gardom’s Edge (VS). Pushing on past the good hex that he’d placed 12 ft up, Merv went for the top (27 ft). No more gear was placed, as all his effort was going into the layback. Merv’s hands reached the top, but just then his right foot slipped on some green rock. The rope went tight and slowed the fall, but Mervyn landed feet-first on the ground. Fortunately, he missed the surrounding boulders, and the sloping grassy bank on which he landed further reduced the impact. He was lucky to have escaped only shaken.

Charlie’s Crack

14th July. Chris Harbottle was leading Charlie’s Crack (HVS 5b) at Burbage South. The climb starts from a pedestal 15 ft above the floor and just above a large boulder. With only a small friend placed in a horizontal break, Chris traversed across from the pedestal onto the crack proper. In trying to move up the crack, rope from below the protection was caught on Chris’ harness so was being pulled up – increasing the run out. Failing to make the move, Chris slipped, the friend pulled from break (along with some of the surrounding rock) and he fell onto the boulder. Bouncing from this he landed on Simon ‘Metolius Mat’ Chandler who had been spotting from below. Again, very luck to have escaped with only a few scrapes, particularly since he’d forgotten to put on the climbing helmet that he’d been sharing with Martin that day.

Huss Stuart blames the whole thing on the curse of the dead sheep. It had got it foot stuck in the rock and had died there at the top of the crag and was now merrily stinking the place up. I believe that it blamed all climbers for not helping it and had cursed the next lot to climb there. As Confucius say “Climber beware of rotting sheep”

The Result …

The votes were cast, the bribes paid into various banks and the results deemed final and standing. So with great honour and in trepidation and on behalf of the Judges, who yet again remain nameless, I would like to announce the winner of this years LOB of the Year with an early start to his young climbing and Lobbing career and lets hope that future efforts are improved with experience and knowledge to bring about a quality of LOB otherwise not known within the records of the Club’s history …

    Chris Harbottle

It would seem that any lob activity took place on my brand spanking new rope (which might tell you something – probably my choice of dodgy climbing partners but hey that’s another story!).

Obviously by the end of the climbing season I was feeling somewhat left out that I decided to join the Lobster club. Climbing with Mike Ham (which if you ask me is a brilliant climbing name) at Stanage at the beginning of November I parted from the rock (on Flying Buttress) in a move so unexpected that I only realised I had fallen when I was dangling a few inches above the ground. The phrase “silent but deadly” comes to mind. It certainly woke up the belayer!

However, my effort is not even close when compared to the efforts of the other candidates! In my opinion in third place is Mervyn Lamacraft’s efforts at Hen Cloud when having had some practise earlier in the day on Batchelor’s Climb embarked on a bout of persistent lobbing which can only be described as Culverhouse-esque in proportion on the crux on a climb called Rainbow Crack. Time and time again Mervyn was repelled as he tried to get his legover …. I mean up high enough to lever himself up to easier rock above. He even had the presence of mind to berate his belayer forletting him fall when he was actually a few feet above his last bit of gear! Classic stuff. As an aside I can tell you that Hen Cloud is a difficult place to climb as even Rupert took some unprecedented aerial activity or a lobette (a 60’s band I have not
heard of) as he described it.

For the next candidate… picture the scene. Secretary Thurgood on his first outing on real rock for some 18 months and on his second lead. In a bold decision eyes up this climb on the
Count’s Buttress (Stanage) calledFlaked Crack (HVD). A climb which I described as looking ‘orrible. Having placed a couple of items of gear Mr T was working his way hand jamming up an awkward sloping crack – the belayer on tenterhooks as a result of the repeated calls of “take in” and “keep me tight” then the sound of scrabbling feet and he was falling gracelessly from his perch about 8 feet above his last bit of gear. He was in a horizontal position as he flashed past his last bit of gear and continued his descent and ended up fully inverted with head literally a few inches above the ground. However, he was not finished yet as his journey continued sideways in a glorious swing which was rudely interrupted when he crashed into a nearby slab.
Undeterred after a bit of a recovery and the acquisition of a climbing helmet Ian took an alternative route to complete the climb.

However, this year’s honours (unless you know better) also occurred on the same weekend. This time the scene was the Emma Area on Burchin Edge and the route was the appropriately
named, as events turned out, “Deluded.”graded VS. The winner having just lead another VS called “The Prow” eyes up a nearby climb and decides to the take the plunge (as it were). Off he heads onwards and upwards. He has to squat in a small cave underneath an overhanging bit of rock which he has to overcome as he places what turns to be a crucial size 10 nut in a crack just above his head (I can tell you it was a bugger to get out!).

Having placed his bit of gear the leader worked his way tentatively up the overhanging crack and well above his gear the signs were that he was struggling. He was having problems finding somewhere to place his hands and then his feet. It was inevitable. The sound of scrambling feet (echoes of yesterday) and he was off falling backwards into space and ending up fully inverted with has head inches above the ground. This year’s winner for the style in which he lobbed, the location in front of twenty or more bemused onlookers, the equamity with which he handled the event (he surprisingly did not say a word), and, most importantly for the spectacular effect on the belayer who was hauled forward by the momentum or should I say weight of the leader having leap over an intervening boulder and ending up kissing the rock has
to be Dave Tonks (and can Ihave a new rope please?).

Peter Krug