Our hot rocks trip to the Costa Blanca started off a few weeks earlier with a meal and planning
faff at Caroline’s house. We met the night before the flight at Karen’s house for dinner. We arrived at the designated hour and were greeted by the sound of Simon crushing ice for Margaritas. In no time at all the Margaritas were drunk and this set the tone for the evening with much beer and wine quaffed.

Somehow we all arrived at Stansted at the designated hour of 8am, each of us suffering from a hangover to a greater or lesser extent. For some reason, Steve was very quiet….

Our first day, Sunday, saw us climbing at Toix West, a popular venue just a short walk from the car. Karen, Simon and I teamed up and started on a couple of 3’s (Severe ish), moving up to 5+ (HVS ish) by the end of the day. Amazing what you can do on warm rock with big, shiny bolts! We finished the day feeling well chuffed and confident in our abilities. On only her second day out on rock and her first day sport climbing, Karen finished the day leading an HVS slab consisting of a good deal of delicate, balancy moves.

Monday was Caroline’s birthday and the day started with cake, cards and presents. The overall temperature of the villa was raised by a few degrees with all the candles! The day also started wet on the coast so we headed inland to the Echo Valley with multi-pitch routes on leader placed gear and bolt belays. It didn’t look too encouraging on the drive over with more rain and wet roads but things improved after lunch.

Karen, Simon and I teamed up for Scorpion (4+/HS) with Steve and Caroline sharing the leads on the adjacent line of Wasp (4+/VS) with Caroline sporting the birthday tiara (a present from Karen and Simon) which looked very attractive attached to her helmet with bright yellow gaffer tape! I led the first 3 pitches of Scorpion steadily enough before handing over to Simon for the fourth and final pitch. After a good look round at the holds and the alternative finish of Wasp, Simon was unable to make the moves. We knew that Steve was already on the top and called furiously for a top rope but to no avail. The only thing to do was for Simon to climb down and for all of us to abseil off.

No problem for Simon or me, but Karen hadn’t abseiled before. But it’s amazing what you can do if you have to and we were back on the ground in two abseils although I will acknowledge some anxiety with all three of us and the ropes being tied off to a single bolt.

That evening we drove up the coast to Moraira, intending to eat in a restaurant Caroline knew from previous visits. But wouldn’t you know it – it was closed that evening! A suitable alternative was quickly found and we had a very pleasant evening.

Tuesday started slowly due to hangovers (again) but eventually we start climbing at Toix East, a scruffy roadside crag. I try a route supposedly graded 4+ but back off before the first bolt, finding it steep and awkward. I just didn’t feel comfortable on it. Simon was similarly struggling on an adjacent 4+ and it fell to Steve to lead and get a top rope up for the rest of us to have a
go on.

Seeking a confidence boost rather than continue the beasting, the afternoon saw us back at Toix West. Steve and I team up for Ana, a two-pitch route of 4+ described in the guidebook as ‘very pleasant’. And it was. Meanwhile, Caroline’s hangover has diminished and she’s found some beta on a 6a route which is very amenable. Steve led the way very smoothly before Caroline and I followed. It would probably be fair to describe the route as 5+ with just one 6a move and it’s another confidence booster.

The following day, Wednesday, we head inland again to Sella, described in the guidebook as the most important, extensive and popular area in the Costa Blanca. We start in a bay close to the parking area. Things don’t start that well with Caroline and I wobbling on a 4 route that should be well within our capabilities. Then Steve backs off a 5+ route. What’s going on? Simon & Karen
opted for an easy start on the 3’s & 4’s.

Sella – Divino Face (click on any picture for image in Flickr)

After lunch, we head for another bay. I volunteer to belay Steve on a tricky 5+ route and get well cooked standing in the scorching afternoon sun for what seems like an age. Eventually Steve finds a high sequence for the crux moves and is soon at the chain to lower off. Not soon enough as far as I am concerned. Almost before his feet are back on the ground he’s off belay and I’m retreating to the shade of a nearby bush. Whilst I’m recovering, Caroline top ropes the
route and finds a low sequence for the crux, which looks so much more straightforward. So straightforward in fact she opts to do it again on the sharp end. Confidence returns!

Simon & Karen concentrated on the next bay, taking on some fantastic, long & sustained 5’s & 5+’s. While climbing, a local pointed out a 6a+ climb next to them and with a little encouragement, Simon proceeded to make the tricky start then lead the sustained climb to the top of the route. This was then lead again by Steve, after putting on his extra small shoes (size 11 can you believe it?).

Simon concentrating hard at Sella

Driving back, the boundaries of automotive engineering are explored in an experiment to see if the Ford Ka hire car can be wound up to 100MPH on the motorway. The answer is yes it can.

Thursday was a big day out on the Penon D’Ifach, the big plug of rock that sits in the bay. Steve, Caroline and I team up for Polvos Magicos 6a+. I lead the first pitch and then Steve takes over for the 6a+ (E2 5b ish) crux pitch. Steve had tried this pitch previously and found the top to be slippery and strenuous; this time was little different. The difficulties accumulate in the last few metres and various combined tactics, including vigorous swearing, were brought into play to overcome the difficulties. Caroline went next and got to the final moves with much undignified grunting and with a little assistance from the top bolt she was at the top. Then it was my turn. I found the pitch to be fairly straightforward, if strenuous, until the top bolt. I ended up standing on the bolt to make the move and I’m not sure if there was any assistance from the rope but I was pleased to have got as far as I did. It was, after all, the first time I’d been on an E2!

The following pitch, graded 5+ (HVS 5a ish), is used by many of the routes on the face and there was a bit of a jam with two teams ahead of us. Fortunately there was a capacious ledge where we could anchor and have lunch. To kill time, we then play I-Spy with Sarah and Linda, two Yorkshire women of a certain age. Sarah took the prize for most obscure clue with AS for azure shimmer. Well, at the time it was bright and sunny with the sea, err, shimmering.

Eventually, the teams ahead of us were clear of the pitch and Caroline takes the sharp end. Caroline makes it to the jammed, in-situ gear and clips it but is unable to make the next move and has to back off, despite successfully having led the pitch on a previous ascent.

I take over the lead and with the benefit of not having to stop to clip/place gear and using that greater reach again, make the next move and clip the in-situ tat. From there it’s a tenuous, slippery and thrutchy struggle and I’m very pleased to get to the sanctuary of the belay bolt. Steve and Caroline then follow, both finding the pitch very awkward. We had all done the pitch
previously but none of us recall it being that difficult.

Steve dispenses the next pitch and then it’s my turn again on a 30m of 5. I climb it without a problem although some of the placements are a bit spaced out. I also provided some entertainment to Sarah and Linda who were on an adjacent pitch. Some of the gear was leader placed and I was using some of the biggest Rocks going. So big I was unable to use the usual method of selecting the nut I wanted with my mouth. In extremis, this led me to shout “Caroline, I can’t get your f***ing nuts in my mouth!”

At the top of the pitch we reckon the trad grade would be VS 4c so I’m well chuffed. The pitch took us up to a ridge from where we were able to look out over Calpe; the extent of development since my previous visit in 1993 was quite staggering. Once again we had to wait to get onto the next pitch and undertook a controlled experiment to establish just how big a nut could be selected using the time proven mouth method. For the record, #12 for Caroline and #13 for me but for some reason Steve declined to participate.

The final pitches are fairly straightforward and I no time at all we’re at the top, some 8 hours after starting up the route. What a relief it is to take our rock shoes off! We scramble over some very polished rocks to the summit before tackling the very rocky and polished descent path. An hour later we’re back at the car and there’s another collective sigh of relief as we take out
harnesses off. Then it was time for a quick paddle, beer and tapas. It wasn’t until we sat down that we realised just how tired we were but what a great day out.

Meanwhile, Simon and Karen had spent all day back at Toix West, playing on the multi-pitch routes Steve and Caroline enjoyed on the first day. After a long day multi-pitching, a great deal of beer disappeared with little effort!

Friday started grey and overcast with rain in the air. After much do we/don’t we climb faff, we decide not. With the intention of climbing later in the day, Simon and Karen head off for Moirira for present buying whilst Steve, Caroline and I head for the Mascarat Gorge to look at the scene of some mad bridge swinging and take in the general atmosphere. We also checked out the, ahem, uniquely shaped starting holds to Lubricante Vaginal en Uno!

Bridges in Mascarat Gorge

Then we too head off for Moraira and the weekly market where our purchases include a particularly fetching straw hat for me; a bargain at just €15. We then meet Simon & Karen in a very smart waterfront bar for lunch.

A drive along the twisty coast road brought us back to Calpe but earlier plans for an evening climb were thwarted by a thunderstorm. Instead, we had to stay in the villa and make a valiant attempts to consume all the remaining food and drink; we very nearly succeeded, despite Caroline buying another couple of bottles of wine!

Saturday started remarkably promptly and not having climbed the previous day there was much frantic clearing up activity to get a couple of routes in before heading for the airport. Well, everybody except me was frantic; still feeling trashed from the day out on the Penon, sitting in the car and reading a book seemed like a much better option. We drove to Toix West but it soon became apparent that climbing wasn’t going to happen as it was just far too windy so the plan quickly changed to visit the Alicante gear shops.

Simon leads the way under the guidance of the stern lady in his GPS. In no time at all after leaving the motorway we’re driving through what seems like a residential area and pulling up outside the first shop, only to find it closed. So, onto the second gear shop; again under the guidance of the stern lady.

This takes us into the depths of the city centre and its busy Saturday morning traffic but very soon we’re pulling into a narrow side street then lo and behold there’s the gear shop. Parking in the street clearly wasn’t going to happen and we have to go round the block again to find a car park. Parked up, we make our way back to the shop. I’m able to resist the temptations of the shop and make do with a few fondles but apparently Steve has to have a new chalk bag
and Caroline can’t resist yet more clothes.

With gear shopping out of the way it’s time to find our way out of the city and to the airport where we have a quick juggling lesson (thanks Steve) and a bit of a picnic lunch in the departure lounge, including a couple of litres of San Miguel that we’d failed to drink the previous evening. In seemingly no time at all, we’re back at Stansted and it’s all over ’til the next time.